Dealing with the anniversary of a death

Just passed the 22nd anniversary of my Aunt’s death (December 17, 1991) and I am wondering how many people have issues on the anniversary of their loved ones death? I know that I am not the only one who feels this way.

My Mom will only be gone 2 years on December 23rd and it is so fresh in my mind I can not forget that day. But with my Aunt it is different. For years I felt like a cloud was hanging over my head during the Christmas season until the 17th passed. For me I had to get past that day to truly enjoy the holiday season.

Then this year I hadn’t really thought about it too much until I realized I was picking fights with my husband and just in a bad mood. I kinda just wanted to be left alone. I believe that even though I wasn’t remembering the date, my mind knew and was reacting. This same thing happens on the anniversary of my Father’s death in June. I will just not be having a good day and will remember – oh this is the anniversary of my Dad’s death.

Just wondering how the anniversary of a death feels to other people: like you have been run over by a train or does it just sneak up on you. Is it a day to be with family or time to be alone with your thoughts? I do know that dealing with a death is a very personal issue and no one should ever judge whether your way is ok or right – you have to move through this process and find your own sense of peace.


About TheClothesAreInTheStove

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and daughter. My husband has retired and I work part-time at an outside job and until 12/23/11 worked full-time as my Mother's caregiver. I started this blog as a way to cope with my Mother's illness, dementia and death. I have always had to urge to write down every significant event in my life. Over the years I have jotted down notes on calendars, in journals, on little sheets of paper and now this blog. I am so afraid that if I don't write it down I will forget and it will be lost forever. My Mother's decline is so important and so painful but it happened and it can't be forgotten. Hopefully it will help someone else deal a little bit better - it helps to know that what you are feeling is ok and that what you feel is not unique. Others have different experiences but this is my experience.
This entry was posted in anniversary of death, Dealing with death at Christmas, Death, Elder Care, Family, Grief, memories and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s