So much in common

We spent a little time the other day talking to a neighbor who is taking care of her Mother.  My husband and I had no problem relating to her situation. Our conversation brought back many not so distant memories. 

She was taking a break by walking her dog.  I remember our walks, just getting out for 45 minutes or so kept us from going totally crazy.  She made the statement that her Mother’s condition can change from minute to minute.  How well do I remember that.   Momma would know me and seemed somewhat aware of her surroundings and that she was in her own home.  Then she would get that far-away blank stare in her eyes and she wasn’t there anymore.  I always wondered where she was when she got that look in her eyes?

Her Mother was having some problems and she was struggling with the decision of how to deal with them.  Making medical decisions on my Mother’s behalf was one of the things that bothered me the most.  I did not want that much responsibility.  In our case, I was very thankful that we had our hospice nurse to help guide us in her care.

I struggled with my Mother’s care.  I would get impatient with her.  At times you just had to laugh at some of the things my Mother would do.  It shouldn’t have been funny but it was a case of laughing instead of crying.

I can’t help but believe that all caregivers experience at one time or another the same frustration, the feeling of helplessness, the fear and the exhaustion.  You are torn between the love you have for the person you are providing care for with the desire to walk out the front door and run away.  Caregivers have so much in common.


About TheClothesAreInTheStove

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and daughter. My husband has retired and I work part-time at an outside job and until 12/23/11 worked full-time as my Mother's caregiver. I started this blog as a way to cope with my Mother's illness, dementia and death. I have always had to urge to write down every significant event in my life. Over the years I have jotted down notes on calendars, in journals, on little sheets of paper and now this blog. I am so afraid that if I don't write it down I will forget and it will be lost forever. My Mother's decline is so important and so painful but it happened and it can't be forgotten. Hopefully it will help someone else deal a little bit better - it helps to know that what you are feeling is ok and that what you feel is not unique. Others have different experiences but this is my experience.
This entry was posted in Caregiver Stress, Dementia, Elder Care, Family, Hospice and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to So much in common

  1. Well that’s really great and I appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic.

  2. Jenna says:

    You’re kind to provide a listening ear for her. I’m sure she appreciates it!

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